Going Childless

  

          Upon reading the article None is Enough, many thoughts and questions flooded my mind as to what I want in my future and what my stance is on women not wanting to have children. Womanhood and motherhood are often mistaken as being the same thing, when in all actuality it is a choice for women. Many of them believe that they don’t necessarily need children in order to be happy in life and they don’t want to conform to society’s standards for women anymore than they already do. I believe that it is a great thing if a woman is confident and happy with her life, even if she does not have children. There are so many people in this world who are not happy with what they have and go their whole lives trying to find something to fulfill it. At the end of the day, if you are happy, then that is all that matters regardless of everything else. While I have respect for these women who choose to not have children, I certainly do not agree with them. I have always loved children and definitely want to have some of my own in the future. I understand that if I decide to do so, I will never get to do some of the things that I’ve always wanted to do. Once you have a child, you start to live your life for them and not for yourself. I personally don’t mind this, as I think that you are meant to live out your life for someone/something else; a greater cause. I tried to put myself in the shoes of the women who have chosen to go childless and I could not do so. I honestly do not understand the point in being able to travel to far-away places and getting to do adventurous things if you don’t have any people to share it with. Looking at the idea of going childless in a different light, I enjoy the idea of women standing up for themselves more in society. For centuries, women have been viewed as vessels to have children through and I believe that we should progressively be standing up for ourselves more and more to assert ourselves as valuable pieces to society. Many people find true joy in having freedom to do whatever they want with nothing tying them down, but I believe that anyone can find true joy when looking into the face of a child.

Interview

Me: Hi mom, thanks for letting me interview you even though you're trying to eat

Mom: Hi

Me: So you have three children, but what made you want to become a parent in the first place?

Mom: I just really wanted a family to share fun things with and to make memories with

Me: What is your favorite thing about us?

Mom: I love doing fun things with you guys like going on vacation to Maine

Dad: I have loved watching you guys grow and develop over the years

Me: Oh hi dad! Do you want to be interviewed too?

Dad: No, it's ok

Me: Alright, well mom, if you could change anything about the way we were raised, would you?

Dad: I would've made you guys play more sports

Me: Thanks MOM

Mom: I actually agree with him

Me: Ok, moving on. So far, have we turned out the way you expected us to?

Dad: We've never really had expectations for you guys, we just wanted you all to be happy. If there's one thing that I've learned as a parent, it's that you can't control everything. I learned that when you're mother was wheeled away in the hospital to give birth to your older brother.

Mom: Why are these questions so hard?

Me: They're actually really simple, you're just overthinking it. Anyways, what were your parents like?

Dad: They were hardworking, understanding and supportive

Mom: Yeah, so were my parents. They weren't too strict either

Me: How do you think they influenced the way that you parent?

Dad: I copy my parents a lot with the good and bad things that they did. I think I have my mother's sense of humor when it comes to parenting

Mom: I have learned a lot from their mistakes, but I also do carry on the positive things that they did

Me: Mr. Sheehan has told us in class how after you have children, you can't do a lot of things that you once wanted to do. Do you guys ever regret having kids?

Mom & Dad: No, never

Me: What have you learned from having children?

*Dad leaves room*

Mom: I used to be very quiet and passive, but since I have had kids, I have learned to speak up more quickly not just for you guys, but for myself and everyone else around me.

Me: I know you guys said before that you don't regret having kids, but it must not have always been easy. What is the biggest challenge you have had while raising us?

Mom: Being consistent with our parenting. We learned that if we said, "Don't do that again or you're going in time-out" that we would have to put you in time-out if you disobeyed us. If we didn't do this, then you would never learn to respect us and follow the rules

Me: How different am I from when I was younger?

Mom: Um, you got bigger, taller, older.... How am I supposed to answer this ?

Me: Like how has my personality changed?

Mom: Oh, well even though you are very quiet in school, you have gotten more outspoken and outgoing in other public places and at home

Me: Ok mom, last question: Do you want my teenage years to be anything like yours?

Mom: Yes! I had a good high school experience, participated in lots of activities and kept out of trouble. I definitely want you to have something like that

Me: Awesome! Well, thanks for helping me mom

Mom: No problem

Love

Daily Exposures

          As I am reading through all of my responses to the 'daily exposures' we have in class, I am coming to the realization that I am only skimming the surface of having deep thoughts. Upon reading my responses, I could come up with better things to add to the answer. This made me realize that I need to try looking at things in a different way. It made me think that maybe I should try to look at something as if I were in the mind-set of someone else, and then go back and see if I still agree with my original thought/opinion.

Flifferhuzza

             "Here's to the class of 2014!" the valedictorian sang out. The audience roared in excitement and the graduates jumped up, cheering for all of their accomplishments. Abigail looked around at all of her peers and former teachers, trying to commit their faces to memory. Even though she was well-prepared to move on into her future, she didn't want to lose the memory of all of these who were such a huge part of her life. In just a few short months, they would all be in entirely different places, doing entirely different things and they would all forget about each other. They would no longer re-live the memories they once looked at so fondly, it would all be left behind in the past. This saddened Abigail, to realize that 10 years from now, none of this would matter. Her days spent sitting in class and her nights spent hanging out with her friends would become irrelevant. 'Flifferhuzza' Abigail thought to herself. The feeling that you have lost something great even though something even greater is right in front of you.

Difficult Conversation

               The sun was shining, the air was comfortably warm and the birds were chirping. The beautiful day was very contradictory to the situation at hand with Mike and Ashley. They sat on a bench in the park with small children scampering past them, squealing in excitement and delight. But this was not a joyful day in the park for the young couple.
                "I want to break up" Mike said. Ashley's mouth opened in shock and disbelief. "But why? Why would you ever want to do that?" she questioned. "We have been together for so long and it's been great, but I just think it's time we started seeing other people" Mike confessed. "I don't want to see other people..." Ashley said. She stared at her hands, trying not to cry. "I'm sorry" Mike told her. "Don't you still love me? Or did you find someone else?" she asked. Mike took a deep breath. "Honestly? I met another girl. It's not your fault though and I still want us to be..." he tried to say. Ashley didn't want to hear it. She got up and ran off, leaving Mike alone on the park bench surrounded by all of the other happy people in the world.